I went to the doctors again today and she has signed me off work for another week. As if that is going to make it all better. So as i was walking home from the doctor crying in the street (again) i realised that this is not that way that i want my life to be at all. and the only way that any of it is ever going to change is if i stop this self pittying shit and get on with things. So i have taken a positive step and i have started looking for a new job. And this afternoon i am going to start applying for them.

I dont want to go back to the Me that feels sorry for herself all the time, i prefered the me that i used to be. COnfident and happy and i new what it was that i wanted out of life. i should never have let that man into it. At least i have learned my lesson, allbeit the hard way but one thing for sure i will never ever let myself get into this position ever again. NO WAY.

I want to start writing again too, i have to admit that the motivation is lacking and the concentration but i am sure that there must be an idea somewhere in there.

I wrote a novel once and i can bloody well do it again.

Positivity.